My boyfriends brothers illness has got me thinking more than I realize. In all fairness it has been the family illnesses within the last several years, pushing me to think, reflect, do better.
I recently watched the movie, Trouble With The Curve and I just balled my eyes out. It is a great movie regarding fathers, daughters, and baseball. Sometimes we do not have all the facts or reasons why someone makes certain choices and displays certain difficulties with communicating. Most relationships we have are important, however our mothers and fathers set the bar for how we act and deal with those future relationships.
There comes a time when there are high stakes in life, we can love so deep and lose it all, or be running out of time to make amends.
Sometimes a heart gets so broken that it changes you forever, sometimes temporarily. I am a believer in time, time gives you space to reflect, forgive, look inside yourself, also time does not stand still, we get older and sometimes we carry this heavy heart with a heavy mind and stay broken forever.
Communication is imperative and it can be down right hurtful and dismissive when you try to express a pain in your heart and it is not acknowledged or understood.
I have shared that during my childhood I became withdrawn with my family, not sharing feelings, interest, dislikes, all the questions, experiences of life lived. So I learned and created my own form of communication. I am not saying that I have come full circle but I have been presented with situations to improve my voice. I still struggle here and there but It is nice to know that I’m not the only struggling communicator! Communication has its place depending on its setting, dealing with family, relationships, friendships, children,businesses or business relations. It is as if we were all writers and every ten years, or before, we write our story, communicating what we have processed(changed, eliminated, added, learned) we write about new adventures or becoming more sedentary. Life is fleeting and things can change in seconds, minutes, hours, weeks, months or years. Every individual has his or her own story, internal beauty, and when words are spoken or written on a page, they are meant to be understood, or shared. If the message is not clear, then get clarification, every story has its own identity and individual importance. People want to be heard, they want their thoughts, convictions to translate what is in their heart and mind.
I think people forget the who,what, when,where and why, and how in five W’s and one H (how)are usually present or provided. Maybe not every time but in the transferring of information from one entity to the other, you should always walk away clear of the message. (whether via person, negotiations,instructions,stories, articles) Why do people become so self righteous in thinking that they, themselves have great communication skills? Self examination people, check yourself, and if your message is not clear, make it clear!
This is not being sexist, it is a fact,(we are grilled about the differences between men and women) that men are notoriously known for being short and to the point, but yet they always complain about the women in their lives about how they complain or are always nagging (bitching). I can not tell you how many women are up to there eyeballs with creative word choices to get resolution. Well the challenge is on men, if you see through all the words and repetitiveness, shouldn’t you step up to the plate and problem solve the communication gap or dilemma? It astounds me how men do not tune in to repetitiveness, (things repeat themselves for a reason), because the issues have not been effectively communicated and resolved. I am a woman whose time is important and my words, opinions, thoughts, carry weight just like my counterpart ( my fellow gentlemen) I have learned through mistakes growing up that I want to be crystal clear about the messages I relay to whatever business, person, loved one, that I come in contact with.
So men and women, give me your honest input!