Anything worth having in life requires dedicating time to it. When you are single and off on your own, you only worry about yourself,your shelter, your food supply, your sustainability in the world. Life is easy for one. Then one day you stumble upon and meet a human that reflects a lot of your fundamental beliefs/values, a friendship and romantic chemistry that is all encompassed, it’s magic, it’s rare, its kismet! You make the decision to progress forward with this magical connection, testing it out, making sure its real and not fleeting. Through time, some individuals escalate the testing to live in the same space and incorporate both lives together, the sustainability now becomes 2 instead of one. So living in the same space brings a slew of testing elements, each individual brings their way of being, thinking, to the romantic relationship. Within a loving, romantic relationship there has to be a wonderful friendship, and then an awesome individual relationship with our self. Keeping yourself intact is your job, people, places things just enhance your world experience.
Our way of being begins from nurture and nature, our genetics map us (our parents, grandparents, maybe great grandparents, maybe skipping generations) so does your upbringing, in and out of the home we are raised for those 18 years. Not everyone gets that amount of time, it varies on ones circumstances, their life. Not everyone has or gets siblings, or both parents, or even parents. So as infants we are taught and hopefully guided to perfect our motor skills , and protect our tender brain spot to help us develop into the adults that we become. Our personalities develop by 6 and then parents add or subtract from our learning curve, and then we start to add or subtract stuff along our independence journey.
For my first 20 years of life I lived under my parents roof, and they tried to teach me the lessons of life, being responsible, independent, tools to defend myself through my way in the world. So I had 20 years of juggling advise and observing a couple demonstrate their love, to each other and how they presented their love and their genders to myself and my siblings. So there are all these relationships going on with each other as well as how my female and male role-model parents interact with each other, us,individually, and together as a family. There is a lot going on within the family you are raised in, and there are things that are instilled in you, and when children are finding, and discovering themselves, parents play a very influential part in the process.
These are stages and dots that I have been connecting and continue to connect in my life. Introspection and analyzing everything, choices, emotions,people,places and things in my life.
I have data that I collected being raised in my family home, then when I moved away into my own home, being single, I put all my tools, nurture, nature things to test. I had old and new data to analyze, what I was taught as a child and then what I learned being on my own, making all my decisions based on guidance and tools taught to me by my parents. The example they displayed of their loving relationship between a man and woman, their individual gender roles of how a woman and man behave, ( whatever genders a child is raised with) the responsibility that they demonstrated with finances, jobs/work ethic, hygiene, in their choices of behavior towards each other and us. I took all that data and then with my experiences incorporated all of it into my way of being and thinking. One thing that I found is that children tend to repeat what they learned from their experience in their families. You observe 18 years of a relationship being played out before your eyes and ears. Think about how TV influences the masses, so parents definitely leave a mark on their children. That is why you always hear break the cycle whether it is our own world history or our own personal family history that we want to improve. As Humans we are not perfect, our genetic make up, genes passed down from generations,nature/nurture, effects us all in different ways. So take everything you are exposed to, analyze it and try to improve yourself, what ever predisposed and new data you are dealing with.