So I will be more transparent with my blog by videoing myself and including  more of me in it.  I have to put a face to my opinions and take criticism face on.

A couple of things have influenced me on to a new path.  My skydive experience was one of them.  To skydive you have to be 250 pounds or less.  Well reality hit me rather quickly, I was going to jump a pretty high jump.  I have had an ongoing struggle of not losing weight.  I was walking everyday did not incorporate any other form of exercise, trying to do it at natural, non excessive pace.  So I start thinking, am I in shape enough to do the jump ?  Its a valid question when your frame expands, everything inside you expands.  So My boyfriend had asked me how much I weighed, and I guessed  160 !  The last time I weighed myself was a year and a half ago at the doctors office at 180 pounds.  I was shocked and in disbelief.  Up until I was 34, I had maintained a 125 pound frame, after that I went  many years without weighing myself, I knew I had gained weight just did not care to know the number. So bottom line was that I did not want to face reality, my truth full circle.  I have always believed that you should always be able to look yourself in the mirror, never be ashamed of anything if you are truthful and honest with yourself, nothing will eat away at you.  So the not weighing myself was damage, a huge denial zone.

This is not  just another weight story, I have always been an active person, I envisioned my older years still spunky, energetic, active.  I have never tried any diet or gadget to lose weight, however, after several years of not seeing changes, I have decided to challenge myself.  I am taking a leap, stepping out of my box.  I am going to do the p90 program, I am going to spend  90 days with Mr. Tony Horton.  I will be displaying myself on video with my progression here on my blog.  I never show much skin in my daily clothing apparel, and I have not worn  a bathing suit in 8 years probably, so to say I am stepping out of the box, my comfort zone, is huge in my world.  I am bearing my body to many, and that was always a private matter for me.  I have watched several YouTube videos on line of people documenting their transformation.   Its courageous, and sure, people have all different kinds of reason that motivate them for change, displaying themselves, regardless, I am taking on a daunting intense training regimen.  My idea of exercise is outdoors, the idea of watching a video and doing the exercise indoors is not my idea of a work out, however, now I say yes.  Its a new outlook, new technique, new experience.   My weight is a small reflection of what is going on in my life.  I have steps to go, and I am taking it on.  I want to be joyful again, somewhere I lost a good part of that.  I have heard enough in the media,  society  about weight issues and it is about so much more than that.  I know I am not alone, and I am so glad I am getting it,realizing it.  Its nice to look slender and fit, but its even more rewarding to feel alive, vibrant, energetic and strong mentally and physically.